Spencer and Heidi are going to Iraq! OMG!
Hey Spencer, smile for the Camera!
(But seriously, who the fuck are Spencer and Heidi?)
Today’s Sign That The Apocalypse is Upon Us…
Goodnight, you Sexy Minx [RIP Estelle Getty]
Estelle Getty has died. She was 84 and still a fox. A silver fox.
I Weep for the Future [Kid runs over pedestrians, brags about it on Myspace]
A prison shower should humble Joseph Genovese a bit.
Apollo Braun Isn’t Racist…But he Does Suck at Life. [Life Fail Obama Racism Probing the Depths of Stupidity]
We’ve talked a lot recently about Obama and Racism (here, here, here and here) but this isn’t racist. Because this person isn’t racist. This person is a lame New York hipster trying to get famous. This person is a publicity whore starting a controversy just to sell some t-shirts…(and i know a thing or two about being controversial to get attention and also about selling a $4 shirt for $35…) Great idea, right up until you run into 4 black girls on the street and they whip the shit out of you.
As we’ll see this afternoon in another post, some (ok, most) people deserve what they get.
Taking a Link Dump [World's Greatest Dad Rampage Jackson Arrested HIV Positive U.S. Customs Offshore Drilling Ban Lifted Obama New Yorker Cover]
Sign of the Apocalypse:
This man:
was arrested when he showed up at a house to meet a 14-year old for sex.
Irony, thy name is Daniel Everett.
WTF Award Nominee: A guy named Rampage was arrested for going on a… well, Rampage.
I wonder how they would have identified him if he had gotten away?!?
Did you know that U.S. Customs prohibits HIV positive people from entering the U.S.? I did not. But apaprently that could end soon.
Bush Lifts Offshore Drilling Ban…the Onion’s take.
Some follow-up thoughts on the Obama New Yorker cover…from an e-mail i wrote to Nole:
The beauty of this — i think — is that The New Yorker assumed, rightfully, that their readers are smart, intelligent and aware people that would understand satire when it was presented to them (major clues include the obvious overstatement, overt mockery AND THE FACT THAT IT’S A FUCKING CARTOON!) but where this went wrong is that The New Yorker thought they were publishing in a vacuum. They thought that only their readers would see it. As soon as some moron walks by the newsstand on his way to buy a pack of smokes and this month’s copy of Juggs, he’s going to be like “See? I told ya’ll that he was a towelhead.”
They were talking about it on talk radio last night while i was on the way to see Wall-E (have you seen it? it’s awesome) and the guy was saying how he feels like the cover is OK because he wants to believe that people are smart enough to realize a joke when they see one, that we don’t have to protect readers from themselves. But then he quotes the statistic that 12% of voters in this country still think Obama is actually Muslim (and by extension, that Muslim = terrorist) and it totally disproves his argument. Americans are not smart enough to separate it or understand the difference.
Beyond that, Obama screwed this up completely by pretending to be appalled by it. Why couldn’t he endear himself to the intelligentsia in this country by saying “Hey, idiots. Relax. Read the article. It’s satire. They actually have my back and were just showing how dumb you all are by getting caught up in rumors and mudslinging and believing dumb email forwards. I appreciate that New Yorker for starting an intelligent debate on these beliefs which i’ve been fighting my whole life.” That would have been a huge moment. Instead, he just fell back on the stock press conference BS statement, “I’m disappointed that this is published…blah blah.” Want to know why he did that? Because he’s playing for the middle now and he needs the dumb people to vote for him. He already convinced us when we bought his book and actually read it 2 years ago (because, you know, we learned how to read.). We’re on board. Now he has to pander to the idiots. It’s really disappointing.
Home Run Derby [Josh Hamilton Drugs Chase Utley profanity]
I ususally could care less about the Home Run Derby (or the all-star game as a whole for that matter), but there are some good stories coming out of last night.
First, recovering drug abuser and token “heartwarming story of redemption about a white guy” Josh Hamilton set a record for most homeruns in a round (28 on only 38 pitches) and absolutely MASHED balls out of Yankee stadium. The guy pitching to him was a 71-year old batting coach, who had to be exhausted. Video below.
The other story, which i’ll always love, is that asshole Yankee/Met fans booed Chase Utley of the Phillies during his introduction (conversely, Yankee Derek Jeter got a standing ovation a few years back…when the game was in Fenway.). So how did Chase respond? By saying, “Boo me? Fuck you.” loud enough for ESPN cameras to pick it up. Congrats Chase, you’re my hero.
Satire Should be Obvious… [New Yorker Cover Obama]
Because that’s what makes it satire.
The New Yorker is going to get some shit for this.
Monday Moment of Zen [C.J. Kanuha Kilauea]
This is pretty amazing.
That’s lava…and the water is boiling. Full article here.
